Embracing your Shadow: Effective Techniques for Personal Transformation

Shadow work is all about tapping into the part of you that has been told “isn’t good enough or is too much”. Basically, it’s the parts that have been guilted or shamed into submission. These are the areas that we are taught are not acceptable by our families, culture, society, etc. These are the parts we hide to be more acceptable or palpable.

The healing, I have done with both shadow work and therapy (yay for therapy) is about being seen. This is both in real life and on the socials. There was a TON of inner child work as well as facing some memories and core beliefs and challenging those. Here are some prompts to get you started on your own journey.  

Note, this is not to replace therapy or trauma work. I am a certified life coach but not a therapist. If there is trauma to be worked through, I highly suggest working with a trauma certified therapist when needed to process and have the proper support when it comes to deeper more painful experiences.  

Exercise - A Letter to YOU

Grab some paper, lets get writing! Working through things isn't as easy as reading this blog post or watching a reel on the Tok or Instagram. It's the WORK... the dreaded word! But to uncover our shadow selves means facing them. Personally, I am still knee deep in this work and it gets a little easier as you work through it but it is uncomfortable and it requires a level of self awareness many people are uncomfortable with.

Let's start with a little exercise to get the juices running.

On a blank piece of paper you are going to write a letter to yourself in the past. This can be any age, but I highly recommend it be during a time where life wasn't rainbows and butterflies, where it felt heavy and hard. Write a letter to that version of you from the current version of you. What lessons did you learn by walking through the muck? What did you think wasn't possible by overcoming this portion of your life? What gratitude can you express to this version of you and what they endured (note this does not mean glamorize terrible things that have happened, it means what can you be thankful for that came out of that terrible thing).

This can be a gut wrenching exercise but if you can reflect and find the pieces that helped make you the person you are today that's a good starting place of acceptance and shedding light on parts of you that deserve to be seen and not shamed.

Journal prompts 

What are the values you were brought up with? 

What are values that you currently align with? How do you practice these values?

What things do you notice trigger your body to tense up? 

What do you wish your friends and family knew about you? 

What’s something you’re often embarrassed to admit to others? 

What are the three most important relationships in your life, and how have they influenced your beliefs about who you are? 

Prompts for spirituality 

Spirituality prompts guide you to reflect on your beliefs, values, and ideas, uncovering what's holding you back or causing you internal distress.

What is the difference between doing something "good" and doing something "wrong"? Where do these beliefs around right and wrong come from and do you truly agree with them?

What about your belief system feels hard to trust? Why do you think that is? 

If you were to question your beliefs, what do you fear others might think about you? 

If you have an inner voice, what does it sound like? What does it say about you? 

What gives you the most purpose in life? How can you do more of that? 

What makes you feel valued?  

Prompts for self-love  

Self love can be triggering, historically speaking women weren't publicly or societally encouraged to love themselves. This is taking a major turn (YAY!) but to quote Mean Girls “I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently, there's lots of things that can be wrong with your body.” - Cady Heron

The quote comes from the scene when the teen girls are standing in front of the mirror at Regina George's house listing all the things that are wrong with them and Cady wasn't partaking. It's a scene that calls out we are encouraged to be critical of ourselves and find the flaws rather than finding the gold. Here is your chance to focus on your gold.

What’s something you always wished you could do but haven’t done because you’re afraid? 

How do you self-sabotage the things you want in life? 

What do you wish you could forgive yourself for? What makes it hard?  

If you were to talk to yourself as if you were a child, what would change about the words you would use? Are they kind? Why or why not? 

If you fully accepted yourself for who you are, what kinds of things could you stop doing today? 

What do you believe is true about you? What is not true? What do your beliefs say about who you are? 

How do you respond when someone expresses support? Do you reject or accept it? What does your response say about who you are? 

Engaging in shadow work requires deep commitment and courage as you confront your inner darkness and past mistakes. It is through this process that you can truly understand and accept all parts of yourself, paving the way for the big healing and personal growth.

Remember, forgiving yourself is a vital step in this journey—allowing you to release the weight of the past and embrace a future filled with self-compassion and newfound strength.

By dedicating yourself to this transformative work, you honor your path towards wholeness and self-love.

If you're ready to embark on this journey but feel unsure about where to start, I would love to work with you. As a certified life coach with intuitive guidance, I can help provide the coach can provide the guidance, support, and tools you need to navigate your shadow work effectively and achieve lasting change. Take the first step towards a brighter future and reach book with me today.

Read more at: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/shadow-work-prompts/